Online debate erupts over responsibility for domestic violence
1 Sep 20 12:00 AM · 4d ago · 1 article · 1 post · 31 comments · 2 sources · development 1 of 1
Reddit users engaged in sharp disagreement over whether women bear responsibility for partner selection or whether the focus should be on teaching men not to commit abuse. Commenters also debated root causes ranging from male loneliness and lack of peer support to parenting, media literacy, and the dangers women face when leaving abusers.
“It is awful and it's awful for the community and it's awful to the victim's family.”
Detective Superintendent Jodi Radmore, NSW Police investigator · rss ↗47-year-old man (charged in Bondi case) Suspect in grandmother's death31-year-old man (charged in Wagga Wagga case) Suspect in 23-year-old woman's death37-year-old man (charged in Mole River case) Suspect in 70-year-old woman's deathDetective Superintendent Jodi Radmore NSW Police investigatorJavid Faiz Defense lawyer for 47-year-old suspect
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first by ABC Australia, 4d ago
What people said 24 voices · best of 35 · verbatim
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You do realise there's a whole plethora of layers as to why it's not as simple as walking out the door? Abusive partners tend to also be financially abusive as well, and also isolate their victim from friends and family. Women are also most likely to be killed when they leave their abusive partner. Add children into the mix, it's really not…
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I have experienced the polar opposite to this. Since I was in the school I’ve heard how boys and men are more likely experience loneliness and depression. A large part of this is because men/boys don’t talk to each other about their issues in the same ways girls/women do. Women/girls talk to their friends about everything and generally support and…
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Personally I thinking dating is ridiculous and puts so much pressure on both people involved. Like, why can’t people just make friends with each other and let those things evolve as you get to know someone, rather than creating this interview and trial like relationship to assess whether you want to be someone or not. Getting asked out is really…
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One of the things that upsets me is just how much work there is to do across the board. It isn't like there's an instant fix to any of this. Parents need to do better, schools need to do better, and society in general needs to do better to look out for each other. And despite what some people seem to think, the answer isn't simply telling someone…
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I also disagree here. We have access to more information than ever before. In the past it was easy to manipulate and influence people when you only had a few limited channels for information. We’ve never lived in a time where you’ve had more opportunity to be an informed, critical thinker. If you fall down the manosphere that’s a choice to engage…
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Happy to get downvoted here. You say: "feel confident enough to leave an abusive partner" There has to be some personal responsibility here. Women need better education in selecting partners that aren't these dirtbags. Accidentally sign up to a relationship with a dirtbag? Terrible luck, but do what you need to do as a collective to empower women…
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I dont agree, they need proper parents, im born in 2001 and always had anger issues or seen shit online but the domestic violence rate has only gone down since the internet has gotten bigger Not correct, family and domestic violence rate is up almost 20% from FY2019-2020 to FY2024-2025, 337.4 vs 402.9 per 100 000. I haven't dove further back in…
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there is no evidence that boys raised by single mothers grow up more violent, or commit more domestic violence crimes. There is evidence that children who are hit from childhood by either or both parents are more likely to hit in adulthood - the habit of punishing by physical means is ingrained from very young. The highest domestic violence rates…
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This is the problem, instead of putting the responsibility on women to constantly be on high alert, maybe teach those men to not be scums? Not saying it’s all men because it’s not, but we as a society prioritise teaching women safe behaviours (which is still beneficial) over teaching men how to react responsibly and control their behaviour If we…
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Thats the real conversation im trying to have. What do we do? I am sick of seeing my sisters out here getting abused/neglected/killed. We need to look at the entire picture which starts at partner selection. But that doesnt ignore all other aspects of it its just one of many parts of the puzzle. We need to educate both genders at young ages about…
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I'm not complicit in violence if I don't intervene. I didn't choose to use violence, the person using violence is responsible for their choices and behaviors. This argument doesn't work with any other comparable context (gay people aren't responsible for the choices that other gay people make, black people aren't responsible for the choices that…
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Been here. I was like 25 and some dude in late 30s was pulling his Mrs by ponytail and yelling at her. She walked off and he followed. My gf and I turned around and went to them. I started going off at him and she walked off. He started threatening to bash me and to mind my business. I still remember you, Bay Run loser. You’d be in your 50s…
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the unfortunate thing is that even if the perpetrator is arrested and goes to jail, they get out eventually (usually after a quite short sentence too). they can also use allies to keep targeting the victim while they're locked up. so a victim might feel safer with the perpetrator in their home than being somewhere out there where they can't…
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Then be an ally to women, don't blame them for abusive men. It applies for all; everyone should feel safe to leave an abusive partner. Are you aware that the most dangerous time for women is when they leave the abusive relationship? The chances of them being murdered increases significantly. It's not as simple as just leaving.
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Yeah that’s something I probably wouldn’t have thought of but you’re the second person now to say that they could retaliate against the victim, if someone in public went for them for showing aggression. It’s not very hard to imagine at all that they may take that sort of situation out on their partner.
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This happening under the current culture wars around boys not getting fair treatment at schools, or “not all men” after the Swans pullman incident just proves how out of control sexism and domestic violence is in this country. Don’t forget the coward in Indonesia who killed his kids on camera.
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You solve it by being really tough on crime. But all the people complaining about it are asking for leniency for youth criminal. If you are excessively tough on crime then everyone will not do crimes especially violent crimes. Which is why countries like Singapore have less violent crimes
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Im only looking at the very first small piece of the puzzle And that starts with 2 people making a choise to be in a relationship. And often in those 2 people one is a woman. Its not the ENTIRE puzzle its a small piece. And men do need to change there behaviours 100%
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Risk mitigation? The moral culpability for anyone who commits a crime is 100 percent on the person who has committed the crime. But taking precautions is not victim blaming, it's just practical. What should be is theoretical. What actually happens is more important
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I did a looksy at the domestic violence rates in another comment https://www.abs.gov.au/statistics/people/crime-and-justice/recorded-crime-offenders/2024-25 Family and domestic violence is up about 20% from FY2019-2022 to FY2024-2025, rate went from 337.4 to 402.9
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Only last night I got onto the train guard due to a feral man constantly lightly abusing his girlfriend. She was more concerned about other passengers noticing - really sad. You can only imagine what happens behind closed doors in cases like that.
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Why put the onus on women to ‘choose better’ when the onus should be on men act better? Women aren’t the ones who need to change their behaviours, men do. But I suppose it’s easier to just blame women rather than holding men to account, isn’t it?
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welfare supports were lifted above the poverty line and that can be done immediately. And get rid of the partner income tests and all sorts of archaic bullshit that keeps people stuck in relationships they can't afford to leave
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Do you really believe that the ninety -year-old woman who was murdered was in a partnership with the 47-year-old man they arrested? Or that the 70-year-old woman killed was in a partnership with the 37-year-old man arrested?
All 1 developments of Three women killed in domestic violence incidents across… →
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