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CultureQuiet 3d · day 3

Miss Manners addresses engagement ring questions and family hospitality expectations

Advice columnist offers witty retorts for intrusive questions about marital status and guidance on family gratitude norms.

newest coverage 2d agosummary written 2d ago6 pieces NewswiresMastodon

What to know

  • Miss Manners advises a 23-year-old college student to deflect engagement questions with humor and clarity about her own timeline, not others' expectations.
  • She recommends distinguishing family obligations from those owed to unrelated houseguests, cautioning against resentment over perceived ingratitude from relatives.
  • The column treats both intrusive social pressure around marriage and hospitality expectations as etiquette problems rooted in differing assumptions about obligation.

“That she's family. She and your husband grew up the same house. She is used to his looking out for her, as in this example of feeling she needed a holiday.”

Miss Manners, Advice columnist · Mercury News ↗

Miss Manners (Judith Martin) Advice columnistFirst letter writer Parent seeking adviceSecond letter writer Host seeking validation

Miss Manners addresses engagement ring questions and family hospitality expectations
mercurynews.com

How it unfolded 2 developments, newest first · click a bar or a number to jump articlesposts

Peak 3 pieces in one hour at Sep 21, 8 AM; 6 pieces over 3 days (5 articles · 1 post) Sep 21, 3 AM — 2 pieces · 1 article · 1 post — Mastodon 1, Newswires 1Sep 21, 4 AM — 1 piece · 1 article — Newswires 1Sep 21, 5 AM — quietSep 21, 6 AM — quietSep 21, 7 AM — quietSep 21, 8 AM — 3 pieces · 3 articles — Newswires 3Sep 21, 9 AM — quietSep 21, 10 AM — quietSep 21, 11 AM — quietSep 21, 12 PM — quietSep 21, 1 PM — quietSep 21, 2 PM — quietSep 21, 3 PM — quietSep 21, 4 PM — quietSep 21, 5 PM — quietSep 21, 6 PM — quietSep 21, 7 PM — quietSep 21, 8 PM — quietSep 21, 9 PM — quietSep 21, 10 PM — quietSep 21, 11 PM — quietSep 22, 12 AM — quietSep 22, 1 AM — quietSep 22, 2 AM — quietSep 22, 3 AM — quietSep 22, 4 AM — quietSep 22, 5 AM — quietSep 22, 6 AM — quietSep 22, 7 AM — quietSep 22, 8 AM — quietSep 22, 9 AM — quietSep 22, 10 AM — quietSep 22, 11 AM — quietSep 22, 12 PM — quietSep 22, 1 PM — quietSep 22, 2 PM — quietSep 22, 3 PM — quietSep 22, 4 PM — quietSep 22, 5 PM — quietSep 22, 6 PM — quietSep 22, 7 PM — quietSep 22, 8 PM — quietSep 22, 9 PM — quietSep 22, 10 PM — quietSep 22, 11 PM — quietYesterday, 12 AM — quietYesterday, 1 AM — quietYesterday, 2 AM — quietYesterday, 3 AM — quietYesterday, 4 AM — quietYesterday, 5 AM — quietYesterday, 6 AM — quietYesterday, 7 AM — quietYesterday, 8 AM — quietYesterday, 9 AM — quietYesterday, 10 AM — quietYesterday, 11 AM — quietYesterday, 12 PM — quietYesterday, 1 PM — quietYesterday, 2 PM — quietYesterday, 3 PM — quietYesterday, 4 PM — quietYesterday, 5 PM — quietYesterday, 6 PM — quietYesterday, 7 PM — quietYesterday, 8 PM — quietYesterday, 9 PM — quietYesterday, 10 PM — quietYesterday, 11 PM — quietToday, 12 AM — quietToday, 1 AM — quietToday, 2 AM — quietToday, 3 AM — quietToday, 4 AM — quietToday, 5 AM — quiet 12
Sep 22yesterdaynow · 6:44 AM ET
  1. 2

    Syndicated column circulates across regional outlets

    The Miss Manners column is republished by Cleveland.com, AL.com, and PennLive on September 21 at 1 p.m., distributing the engagement and hospitality advice to additional regional audiences.

    1. 1 outlet Miss Manners: Daughter getting badgered by cousin’s wife over engagement status

      first by Cleveland.com, 2d ago

  2. 1

    Column recommends witty deflections and perspective on family obligations

    Miss Manners characterizes the cousin's wife as "one nasty cousin" and suggests the daughter use "a secretive smile" with the line "Oh, please, we're still courting" for nosy questioners. On the hospitality matter, she advises treating family differently from unrelated guests and warns against cutting off the husband from his sister over perceived ingratitude.

    “And please do not cut off your husband from his sister because you judged her thanks as not coming from the heart.”
    — Miss Manners
  3. background

    Miss Manners publishes dual advice column on engagement questions and family hospitality — The column addresses a letter from a parent whose 23-year-old college student daughter faces repeated questions about her engagement ring from relatives, particularly her cousin's wife who compares their timelines. Miss Manners also responds to a separate letter from hosts upset about their sister-in-law's perceived lack of gratitude after a two-night visit.

Also covered reported alongside — the timeline has no entry for these yet

  1. 2 outlets Miss Manners: They keep asking my daughter where her engagement ring is

    first by Orlando Sentinel, 3d ago · also Mercury News

and 2 smaller pieces