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CultureQuiet 13d · day 13

Advice columnist backs teen who declined a hug, says grandmother must accept it

R. Eric Thomas's "Asking Eric" column on a 16-year-old's refusal to hug a family friend spreads across dozens of regional outlets.

newest coverage 12d agosummary written 12d ago9 pieces NewswiresMastodonGoogle News

What to know

  • The core dispute: a 16-year-old's refusal to hug a family friend versus her grandmother's insistence that refusing was rude.
  • Advice columnist R. Eric Thomas unambiguously backs the teen's bodily autonomy over the grandmother's objection.
  • The identical column was syndicated to at least seven regional outlets (Tribune, Denver Post, Cleveland.com, AL.com, MassLive, NJ.com, Oregonian) within hours, several reframing the headline to emphasize the grandmother's anger.

“This is something that Grandma is going to have to accept. Hugging Helen is so far from a non-negotiable, it doesn’t make sense for her to put her foot down about it.”

R. Eric Thomas, Advice columnist · Chicago Tribune ↗ · Oct 30

R. Eric ThomasR. Eric Thomas Advice columnist, "Asking Eric"Missy 16-year-old daughter in the letterGrandma Mother/grandmother in the letterHelen Family friend described as "a hugger"

Advice columnist backs teen who declined a hug, says grandmother must accept it
Denver Post

How it unfolded 2 developments, newest first · click a bar or a number to jump articlesposts

Peak 7 pieces in 3h at Oct 31, 3 AM; 9 pieces over 13 days (8 articles · 1 post) Oct 31, 12 AM — 2 pieces · 2 articles — Newswires 2Oct 31, 3 AM — 7 pieces · 6 articles · 1 post — Newswires 5, Google News 1, Mastodon 1Oct 31, 6 AM — quietOct 31, 9 AM — quietOct 31, 12 PM — quietOct 31, 3 PM — quietOct 31, 6 PM — quietOct 31, 9 PM — quietNov 1, 12 AM — quietNov 1, 2 AM — quietNov 1, 5 AM — quietNov 1, 8 AM — quietNov 1, 11 AM — quietNov 1, 2 PM — quietNov 1, 5 PM — quietNov 1, 8 PM — quietNov 1, 11 PM — quietNov 2, 2 AM — quietNov 2, 5 AM — quietNov 2, 8 AM — quietNov 2, 11 AM — quietNov 2, 2 PM — quietNov 2, 5 PM — quietNov 2, 8 PM — quietNov 2, 11 PM — quietNov 3, 2 AM — quietNov 3, 5 AM — quietNov 3, 8 AM — quietNov 3, 11 AM — quietNov 3, 2 PM — quietNov 3, 5 PM — quietNov 3, 8 PM — quietNov 3, 11 PM — quietNov 4, 2 AM — quietNov 4, 5 AM — quietNov 4, 8 AM — quietNov 4, 11 AM — quietNov 4, 2 PM — quietNov 4, 5 PM — quietNov 4, 8 PM — quietNov 4, 11 PM — quietNov 5, 2 AM — quietNov 5, 5 AM — quietNov 5, 8 AM — quietNov 5, 11 AM — quietNov 5, 2 PM — quietNov 5, 5 PM — quietNov 5, 8 PM — quietNov 5, 11 PM — quietNov 6, 2 AM — quietNov 6, 5 AM — quietNov 6, 8 AM — quietNov 6, 11 AM — quietNov 6, 2 PM — quietNov 6, 5 PM — quietNov 6, 8 PM — quietNov 6, 11 PM — quietNov 7, 2 AM — quietNov 7, 5 AM — quietNov 7, 8 AM — quietNov 7, 11 AM — quietNov 7, 2 PM — quietNov 7, 5 PM — quietNov 7, 8 PM — quietNov 7, 11 PM — quietNov 8, 2 AM — quietNov 8, 5 AM — quietNov 8, 8 AM — quietNov 8, 11 AM — quietNov 8, 2 PM — quietNov 8, 5 PM — quietNov 8, 8 PM — quietNov 8, 11 PM — quietNov 9, 2 AM — quietNov 9, 5 AM — quietNov 9, 8 AM — quietNov 9, 11 AM — quietNov 9, 2 PM — quietNov 9, 5 PM — quietNov 9, 8 PM — quietNov 9, 11 PM — quietNov 10, 2 AM — quietNov 10, 5 AM — quietNov 10, 8 AM — quietNov 10, 11 AM — quietNov 10, 2 PM — quietNov 10, 5 PM — quietNov 10, 8 PM — quietNov 10, 11 PM — quietNov 11, 2 AM — quietNov 11, 5 AM — quietNov 11, 8 AM — quietNov 11, 11 AM — quietNov 11, 2 PM — quietNov 11, 5 PM — quietNov 11, 8 PM — quietNov 11, 11 PM — quietYesterday, 2 AM — quietYesterday, 5 AM — quietYesterday, 8 AM — quietYesterday, 11 AM — quietYesterday, 2 PM — quietYesterday, 5 PM — quietYesterday, 8 PM — quietYesterday, 11 PM — quiet 1–2
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  1. 2

    Dozens of regional outlets republish the column with sharper headlines

    Cleveland.com, AL.com, MassLive, NJ.com and The Oregonian syndicate the same column within hours, several retitling it to foreground the grandmother's anger ("grandmother is furious," "grandma says that's rude") rather than the original hug dispute framing.

    1. 1 outlet Asking Eric: My 16-year-old refused a hug and now her grandmother is furious

      first by Cleveland.com, 12d ago

  2. 1

    Advice column backs teen's right to refuse a hug

    The Chicago Tribune publishes R. Eric Thomas's "Asking Eric" column, in which a parent describes their daughter Missy refusing a hug from family friend Helen and being scolded by Grandma afterward; Thomas sides with Missy's bodily autonomy.

    “I think Helen is the rude one for forcing her hugs on everyone she meets. Who is right?”
    — Letter writer ("No Hugs")
    1. 3 outlets Asking Eric: Grandma says refusing a hug is rude - but I've taught my teen she doesn't have to

      first by OregonLive.com, 12d ago · also MassLive, The Oregonian

      2 more headlines
    2. 2 outlets Asking Eric: Family friend demands hugs, despite parents’ objections

      first by Denver Post, 12d ago · also Chicago Tribune